Monday, March 4, 2013

Update...

Hello, haven’t blogged in a long time, so here’s an update:

I no longer live on a farm. I live in an apartment. There are many, many cats, including a very large one named Mouse who I’ve taken a shine to-I can barely resist the urge to give him treats, which is probably why he’s so plump-his cuteness means he likely is fed by more than one neighbor (ever read “Six Dinner Sid”? 90% sure this cat is similar.)

My fiancé and I now consider ourselves married and refer to each other as spouses, though we are not legally married for a few reasons, and no, I don’t wish to go into detail explaining, thanks. :P Relationship wise, we’re fine (great even, as always), but our lives have been a bit (understatement) rough lately due to the passing of his grandmother, immediately followed by the declining health of his mother, who, at best, has a couple weeks to live. Chris (my husband) has been giving power of attorney, which is a huge burden for someone his age (or anyone, really, but especially someone who’s still in his early 20s), but I understand why his mother gave that responsibility to him-if there’s anyone in this world you can trust, it’s Chris.

It’s been hard to him keep up with classes (I’m not taking any this semester) and for both of us to keep up with activism with all the things going on-I was elected VP of Outreach for a student org and I’m trying my best to stay active in that. To make matters worse, though this is petty compared to the rest, I seem to have dislocated or maybe even broken my arm, and due to all that’s going on, haven’t been able to get it x-rayed (the place my GP told me to go to closes early afternoon, making it hard to get to in time with our schedule-don’t get me wrong, my GP is great, I just wish he could send me to a place that wasn’t near impossible to find time to get to for even people with a typical life schedule (whatever that is) let alone ours.) I hope if it is broken they don’t have to do that thing where they re-break it as it’s been so long since the injury.

I’d like to do more updates on the general activism I’ve been involved in, or do more book reviews, or more shitty late-night ‘philosophical’ rambles, but that’ll have to wait for a later date. Stay tuned, hopefully I can actually keep my word this time and update this blog regularly.

Friday, June 22, 2012

LGBT+ Book Review- Luna by Julie Anne Peters



Well, this is my first blog in ages. I wasn't sure what to write about, but I wanted to write something, so I'm going to highlight some of my favourite books with LGBT topics or characters. The first one I'm going to discuss is Luna by Julie Anne Peters.

This book was pretty much a life changer for me. I read it first in 11th grade. It's about a high school-aged young transgirl named Luna, told from the perspective of her (also high school-aged) sister, Regan. This book details Luna's gradual coming out, with the support of her sister.

Before this book I had no idea that trans* people existed...well, I knew they did, but only in the way everyone tends to, through stereotypical brief portrayals on television and movies. I myself didn't understand my own gender at the time, but while reading this book I started to realize that I was trans...the book didn't make me trans, as many would probably claim...I think I always knew, but thought I was the only one. I ended up going to a fan forum for this author and asking if it were possible to be more than one gender at the same time, or neither-and that is where I learned that there were third gender people, and that I wasn't the only one. Over four years later, I am still out and proud as genderqueer, and it is thanks to this book and the author's wonderful fan community.

I recommend this book to anyone trying to understand trans* issues, whether they are trans* themself, have a trans* loved one, or just want to understand the complexities of gender identity more.

Monday, April 9, 2012

BEDA-Fiction, Meaning, and Reality

Note: Yes, I am starting BEDA halfway through. Yes, it is not technically everyday then. I like to live dangerously (well, actually, I don't, I'm skittish as bunny slippers. It's odd I consider myself a Gryffindor.)

As a kid, I was always the type to make everything into a story. I was not on an old, decrepit bus putt-putting its way to a run down school full of kids that didn't understand me, and in fact, actively disliked me, I was in a merchant's wagon, an adventurer who'd caught a ride with a passing trader, making my way to the big city to continue my epic journey, fighting dragons, trolls, and who knows what else. I think it was my method of escape from reality, my time to dream I was somewhere greater, somewhere full of magic, fighting for all that's right, where if people didn't accept me, they learned quickly what I was capable of. I wrote all the time...most of my stories included cats. I really loved cats as a kid. It didn't matter that cats didn't really talk and wield longswords and live in a fantasy world I dubbed "Kitty City". It was real for me at the time.

As I got older, I stopped writing gradually. Eventually it came to the point where I barely read anymore. Reality was something I was constantly aware of, as a trans, female-bodied bisexual, knowing that people like me are nothing but political tools or mere objects to most of society. I was never a sheltered child, my parents always encouraged me reading banned books and told me about society's troubles...but it wasn't until recently when I began paying close attention to everything happening (I hadn't been ignorant of it before, I just hadn't spent as much time.) It was about the time of the London riots last year that I started becoming hopeless...and in that, I feel I lost what was the last of my ability to disappear into a fantasy world...reality was around me always, crushing me. It became harder and harder to escape...science fiction shows, one of the few things that had given me hope for the human race, while still enjoyable, seemed to be showing a view of humanity through rose-coloured glasses. I just felt, and feel, like my ability to escape through story has left me.

It's time to change that. And that's why I'm doing BEDA and making a goal to read at least one book this month. One thing I've learned in recent years is story can not only be a means of escape, but a way to examine reality: what we are, what we were, what we could be. Really, there are stories that are dark, there are stories that are light...some science fiction shows show just how noble the human race can be, some just how horrible. Some say they like dark fiction, some light, some in between, and a few of those think their preference more accurately reflects humanity. Maybe, really, they are all right. Maybe dark shows depicting the future can show how horrible we could become, the light, sometimes campy, sometimes cheesy (and other times ridiculously epic) ones how amazing. Some books and shows, in fantasy and science fiction, whether in the past, present, or future (or somewhere not on our timeline) can teach us so much about ourselves from the then, now, and future. I feel like through losing my ability to read and write stories I have lost something dear to me, something that I wish I could share with the world: the ability to escape and yet analyze reality, to find out where we stand and how we can make things better.

I can thank the Harry Potter Alliance for rekindling my hope in stories, and making it so I can enjoy all types, happy, sad, in between. Though what really inspired me to start this, what was really the point where I said, you've got to snap out of this, Francis, reality is important but you're missing so much more, was the speech Sam gives in the Two Towers:


"There's some good in this world...and it's worth fighting for."
I really think most stories portray that, whether their depictions of humanity be positive, negative, or in between. Maybe existence is pointless, and yes, the universe will eventually end, but that rings true-even if, to the universe, we are insignificant, the fact that we are alive, can feel, can tell and make stories, means we give ourselves meaning, if only for a short time.

Whether there is or is an afterlife or if there's in inherent point to the universe, made by a creator or random luck, the universe is amazing. If someone/thing created the universe, that's an amazing masterpiece. If it just all happened by coincidence, then everything is still a miracle in a sense because we're still here despite the odds.

What matters is we are alive now. Let's live, let's write stories together, let's fight for everything that is good. We can give meaning to our own lives. We all have the power to better the world. I lost interest in stories for the longest time, but now, I can see they were right all along. Anything is possible.

We CAN make the world better. Where will we end up? I don't know. Will things be better a century from now? Will it be worse? Is it doomed to be worse? Even if it is, there is good in this world, and it is worth fighting for. We don't know where we're going, but it could be anywhere. I am glad to be making this journey back into fiction so I can better understand reality.

To quote one of my favourite movies:
"In the end, isn't it always the same question? And always the same answer? The game is 90 minutes. The ball is round. Everything else is pure theory."*

Here we go.

*From Run, Lola, Run.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Why I talk so much about being trans: an explaination and rant

Why I talk about being trans so much: it is not because of me, at least not fully. I am one of the lucky ones to find an absolutely amazing and supportive person that keeps me from the worst of discrimination. But there are others who aren't so lucky.


These are statistics taken from a survey of near 6,500 trans people:
-41% have attempted suicide, 26x the national average (this is not counting those who have committed suicide, which would make the combined attempt/success rate higher)
-Over 1 in 50 have been physically assaulted in emergency rooms
-22% have been harassed by police
-19% have been refused medical care due to their gender identity
-1 in 5 have experienced homelessness
-19% have been denied housing due to their gender identity
-11% have been evicted due to their gender identity
-26% have lost a job due to being transgender
-Combining those who have lost a job, been refused a job, or denied a promotion due to their gender identity, the number rises to 47%
-Transgender individuals have a 4 to 5x greater chance than the general population of living in extreme poverty (making under $10,000 a year).
-90% have been harassed or otherwise mistreated in the workplace

Go on. Tell us it's our fault. Tell us it's just our fault for not blending in, not trying to pass as male/female enough, for just being too obviously trans. This is the response I usually get when I talk of how I or other trans people have been discriminated against: that we just haven't tried to blend in enough, that we are attention whores who deserve what we get for being ugly men in dresses with beards (honest to God comment I got from a family member arguing trans people should not be hired as they are "gross men in dresses who want to show off their beards and hairy chests")

Blend in, I'm always told. Or move to an area more accepting (like we can somehow magically afford to uproot our lives and move to another state. HEY GUYS. Moving costs MONEY and means you have to have a JOB in another state that can pay rent, and money to put down for that rent when moving there. (So for the love of fucking God stop you're classic, "THEN MOVE." line you say when I say I'm discriminated against. Seriously. Every. Fucking. Time. I am told if I don't like it, then move, like I can. THEN MOVE. Every time that is what they say, and it's not just one person, it's many, so don't feel like this is an attack on someone, it's just this constant "oh it must be your fault" shit I hate) I'm sick of me and people like me being blamed for being discriminated against. I'm sick of being told it's my fault that I can't afford to move to a more accepting place, that it's MY fault that I and people like me get treated like this. No. It's assholes who discriminate who are at fault. Not ours.

Again, I'm one of the lucky ones. I would not be here if it weren't for Chris and one particular other person who came into my life by sheer luck and a series of lucky coincidences. I'm lucky. I have a fiancé that supports me and best friends that love me. Others aren't. This isn't about me. Yes, I want to be treated fairly, I want to have a happy life, and being trans certainly fuels my desire even more to advocate for trans rights, but tell me that trans discrimination isn't a problem. Tell me they are to blame for all the assholes who make their lives hell. And then kindly fuck off. Because we and those that care about us won't stand for it anymore. I am who I am. I deserve respect. So does everyone else who is hated on just for being themselves. And I'm frankly sick of being quiet to please others and avoid being disowned by family. All of us who are "different" are sick of it. We are sick of being blamed. People need to know the situation. We will not remain invisible. I will talk about discrimination against trans people and anyone else who is discriminated against.

This is why it matters to me so much. Discrimination is wrong period, but trans people are discriminated against on an unimaginable level, and this is something that most people don't know about, or frankly don't care, are there are so few trans people that we're an unknown, a faceless entity. A "them", not an "us". I want people to see that we are out there, to show trans kids (and also adults) that they aren't alone. It can get better because we will make it better.

Note: Those statistics are just a few included in this survey on trans discrimination. I did not include statistics of those who have been assaulted (outside of the one I mentioned) in their daily lives or school. If you want to read the full report here it is: http://www.thetaskforce.org/reports_and_research/ntds


The article that brought this whole rant on: http://prospect.org/article/counting-transgender-community-0

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Introduction, somewhat self absorbed, rambly vlog.

Hello!
So, I haven't used this blog since 2010, apparently, and only once then. So, I'm going to give it another go.

Introduction-I am Francis. I live on a farm. I am, however, not a farmer, unless you mean of the funny variety *laughs maniacally* ...ahem.

I go to uni part time, this uni being VCU (Virginia Commonwealth University-you know, the one that got into the Final Four in basketball but got beaten by Butler? Yeah, them.)where I am hoping to become a Spanish Major/Latin American history minor. My fiancé also goes there-he's majoring in Anthropology/History with a minor in Spanish. We're both involved in many on-campus activist groups, and Quidditch (well, I play, he enjoys to company.)

I grew up in Richmond, Virginia-or rather, the suburbs directly south. The first thing I wanted to be was an astronaut, but then I switched to going for major league baseball. I played baseball and softball until age 11, when a series of injuries left me unable to play sports for many years, until I briefly took up paintball and more recently, Quidditch. Also did horseback riding, but horses hate me. Not like, "oh, they can sense your fear." Horses genuinely dislike me. One had a grudge for God knows what reason-he once tried to bite my face off. Like, nom. Oddly, I still love horses, they're beautiful animals-but they aren't such a fan of me.

Back on topic (there's a topic?). After baseball was out, I switched to theatre, which I really enjoyed. Had to change schools about two years in to a theatre program, and the drama teacher at my new school was...well...insane. And not in the drama teacher, charming way. She would never show up to rehearsals, and spent most of her time listening to Justin Timberlake in her office. Nothing against 50-some year olds listening to whatever they chose, but there's a point where it becomes unhealthy, especially when you're supposed to be teaching.

Anyway, I graduated from that POS school and went to community college, where I met my fiancé. Had to drop out due to medical reasons (it's complicated), when I started going to VCU part time. VCU was nothing like community college or high school...unlike those, there was actually, you know, a community. I know VCU is relatively unknown besides being in the Final Four, but it's actually quite lovely. And by that I mean the people there are completely crazy-this time I mean it as a compliment.

Now...well...the past two years, I've really just been doing volunteer work, studying languages (forgot to mention-I'm a huge language nerd.), gaming, and internet-ing. I seem to gradually be becoming more interested in music, instead of just following what's in the top 40 charts, genuinely getting an interest. I'm definitely not a musician, though. I can play guitar-ish. And I've been told my singing is alright. But that's about it. And as far as life goes, currently I want to work with nonprofits and promote fair trade in Latin America and elsewhere.

Yep. That's about it. I know this vlog is rambly and a bit too self-focused, but I figured I'd get the introduction out of the way first. I apologize if it wasn't exactly exciting-I'll come up with better ideas eventually-I hope.

Any questions, my fellow humanoids? Ask in the comments. :)

PS: Currently addicted to Skyrim. Anyone else play?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Nerdfighterlife-It begins. (BEDA)

So, VEDA has gotten off to a rough start for me. I meant to post a video every day this April, but I don't think I have time in the next 30 minutes. I'm going to make a vlog tomorrow though.

For those of you that don't know me (and most probably don't) I'm Francis, formerly Francis9105 on youtube. I just started a new channel simply because I disliked the old name-it just seemed too generic.

I currently live in central Virginia. I'm engaged to nerdfighter Chris, (CBAChris on youtube), a fellow vlogger and language nerd.

Currently my life is on standby as I'm taking a semester of from college, but am starting up again in the summer. I'm a Spanish major, though my career will hopefully be in writing (I just really love learning languages, and, hey, if writing doesn't work out immediately, I have something to fall back on).

This year I'm trying to complete the 50-book challenge.I haven't exactly gotten far yet. I've reread some of Tamora Peirce's books, but not much else.

What else? I'm a member of DFTBAtheChat, a nerdfighter chat and youtube collab. The majority of my friends I met in the chat, or through some other internet-related thing (the ning or youtube, for the most part).

I need to post this before midnight, so I better quit writing and hit "publish" (=